Loneliness and university

Loneliness, I do feel loneliness sometimes, especially when a day after `or when I don’t have work to occupy my mind with

But lemme clarify something first, loneliness and being alone are completely different thing

I prefer being alone, but I don’t usually feel loneliness

Sometimes, even when I am at a crowded place like school, I can feel lonely

But, I am not going to talk about feeling lonely right now, yet

I am going to be more specific about the second part of the title, University since this is part of my To College Arc

I want to talk about because I just watch this vid by Kurzgesagt

My wa group chat also just talked about feeling lonely, Busel said he felt lonely, I also felt lonely

I’ve been skipping school since this Friday, so I haven’t see my friends in like 3 days

I don’t usually feel lonely because skipping school, but thinking that I wouldn’t be able to easily see my friends again in university, crush my hearth

Ref to do I need friends, that Bondan’s song, wander to other island

As I said in ITS or UNUD, one of the biggest factor for me to choose my next stage of life (University), was and still is, friends

For reference, I also factor tons of other things such as proximity, my grandparent, parent, cost, opportunity, making business, culture etc

I can’t imagine being alone in an island that I have no one to talk with

Here in Bali, if I want to talk with someone, I can just find my friends, even if I have to drive for a couple of km

It’s hard to make friends, especially if we’re really different, if we have different culture

Even now, in my senior high. It’s already hard to start a conversation with others, mostly because I have a really different interest than most of my friends

When I talk about programming, they talked about football. When I talk about finance, they talk about sex. When I talk about future, they play games

I just made my friends look bad, haha

But yeah, I hate the feeling of loneliness, but I prefer being alone

I talk a lot if the topic is something that interest me, but I rarely talk when the topic is something that I don’t care about

I do adapt to this environment once, but can I keep changing myself to adapt to every new social group that I gone to?

I don’t know, I am afraid of being alone~

While in the same time I am afraid of being normal

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